


Higher Branches, Harder Fall

by fudgelingzwodder



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fudgelingzwodder/pseuds/fudgelingzwodder
Summary: "Ryder can’t stop pacing. There’s only one thought that’s been bouncing around in her mind since she and her brother had found their mother’s cryo pod.Ellen doesn’t know. Holy shit, she doesn’t know."An introspective about Ryder and responsibility.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Higher Branches, Harder Fall

Ryder can’t stop pacing. There’s only one thought that’s been bouncing around in her mind since she and her brother had found their mother’s cryo pod.

Ellen doesn’t know. Holy shit, she doesn’t  _ know _ .

Their mom has no idea what their father had done. She has no idea that she’s in cryo right now, a galaxy away from everything she’s ever known. God, had she even known about the Andromeda Initiative? Would she have agreed to all this if she was given the choice? Why wasn’t she given the choice?! Ryder wants to grab her father by the shoulders and shake him, ask him what the  _ fuck _ he was thinking, but she can’t. He acted, and now he’s gone, and she’s left to pick up the pieces. So she paces in her room on the Tempest, feeling sick to her stomach.

At first, SAM doesn’t understand why she’s so upset. Their mother was alive, wasn’t that a good thing? Alec had thought so, wasn’t he right? Ryder has to sit down and explain the concept of informed consent to him. The fact that he doesn’t know already from being with her father makes her nauseous all over again, but after about an hour of talking he gets it. After another ten minutes of thinking about it he’s as horrified as she is. Well, as horrified as an AI can get.

The thing is, SAM is the only one she can talk to about it. Scott’s still recovering, and she’ll be damned if she puts something else on his plate. He’s not stupid, but the thought that Ellen’s here without her approval hasn’t clicked yet. She doesn’t want to thrust that realization onto him, especially when she has to leave again. No, it’s better to let Scott come to it in his own time. They can talk about it then.

“I don’t know what the hell he was thinking,” Ryder repeats for the hundredth time, throwing up her hands. “Dad didn’t even give her the choice! If he was planning all this, why didn’t he talk to her about it?!”

“Unknown,” SAM responds unhelpfully. She glowers at the glowing sphere of his terminal, tempted to explain the meaning of a rhetorical question when SAM spoke up again.

“I believe Alec was afraid of Ellen’s response. He said that it was, quote, ‘better to ask for forgiveness than permission.’” 

“Well, he was wrong.” Ryder knows she’s being childish, but she’s tempted to throw something. She punches her pillow instead. “She has a right to make her own choices. God, SAM--you saw how she was, at the end. Mom was ready to go, but Dad couldn’t accept that. He should’ve let her--agh.”

She flings herself down onto her bed, hugging a pillow tight to her chest.

“It’s not fair, SAM. Dad didn’t want to wake her up and tell her that I died, but now  _ I _ have to wake her up and tell her that  _ he _ died! I bet he didn’t even think of that. He’s--it was selfish.”

“Pathfinder.” SAM’s voice is neutral as ever, but there’s a tinge of pity there. Well, as much as his voice can have. “Is this still only about your mother?”

“I--fuck, I don’t know,” she admits, rolling onto her side to look at SAM on her desk. She knows she doesn’t have to, but it feels like the right thing to do. 

“He didn’t give me a choice either. Or tell me and Scott what he was up to. Did he just not trust us?” She’s going for snarky, but her words come out more vulnerable than she intends.

“I cannot speak to your father’s intentions, but I am sure that he did not anticipate his death. If I were to speculate, I would say that he intended to tell you and Scott of his plans eventually.”

“But he didn’t. He didn’t, and now he’s gone, and it’s all on me.  _ Fuck _ .” Ryder gives in and pulls the pillow over her face, squeezing her eyes shut. Her father is dead, her mom is unknowingly in cryo and can’t be pulled out anytime soon, her brother can barely stand, and she’s the damn Pathfinder. “I don’t know how to do this, SAM. I wish--well, a lot of things.”

“Agreed,” SAM states flatly, and it startles a laugh out of her. “But we cannot change the past, Pathfinder. We can only continue to move forward, correct?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she sighs, sitting up and setting the pillow aside. She runs a hand through her hair, attempting to smooth it.

All they could do was continue to move forward. One damn day at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm real late to the party but I just beat Andromeda and had to write something. The first thing I thought when I found out about Ellen was "what the hell, did she not consent to this, that's fucked up" and it turned into this, lol. I know this is short, so I may continue it at some point.
> 
> Song that the title is from is Trees by The Oh Hellos.
> 
> I may write more for Andromeda but I can't make any promises! Thanks for reading <3


End file.
